Long Distance Relationships
Long distance relationships can be difficult to maintain. Initially, I was not keen on long-distance relationships. See, there were a few pain points for me when it came to relationships and to throw long-distance into the mix, just complicated things even more. This was my mind frame before David.
One of the main pain-points was trust. I wondered, how I could be completely sure I can trust David. My next thoughts were, “My relationships in the past…” On this topic, David asked me to not base our relationship off those from the past. He wanted a clean and fair shot to be completely separate from anything I had ever experienced. I had to let go of my past hurt and open myself up to being vulnerable again. THAT WAS HARD!!!! I had to battle the inner me. That girl that said, ” You have known David for 8 years now and he would never do anything to lose your trust, however, don’t be naïve.
I had to make a choice. To choose to give us a shot even through all my fears. What made things easier was how he talked to me and comforted me through it all. I was able to tell him exactly how I felt and what I feared about our long-distance relationship. He didn’t brush me off as if I were crazy or make me feel weird for having those fears. To my surprise, he validated my thoughts on the matter. David explained that I had every right to be cautious. He said that his actions would line up with his words. In my own personal time with God, I prayed about it. God gave me such a peace about David and because of that I was able to let go of those old feelings. They had no foundation in our relationship, furthermore they were all based on past issues.
Surprise
David and I had talked every day since our trip to Vegas. As we neared the end of 2016, all I could do was wish we could spend the new year’s celebration together. We were already making plans to see each other in 2017 so I was trying to be content with that however, deep down, I wished I could give him the New Year’s kiss. Little did I know, David was feeling the exact same way. David called me while I was at work the day before NYE and asked me how I would feel if he came to see me for the New Years. He wanted to surprise me but didn’t want to pop up unannounced. Just him telling me this was a surprise and I was smiling from ear to ear!
I told David I would love to see him for NYE and with that, he was on a next day flight to Texas!!! This trip wouldn’t be as long as the others so we just tried to soak up all the quality time we could. We spent New Year’s Eve celebrating at a watch night service. Once the countdown hit 1, we planted a big one on each other and screamed, “HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!”
Many More Trips
There were many more trips ahead of us. In March of 2017 I flew to Atlanta where David picked me up from the airport. He had a few things planned in Atlanta. We went to the Botanical Gardens where we had lunch and enjoyed the beautiful, serene gardens and water features. We walked and talked. When David spoke, it was as if he was telling me he wanted to make up for all the bad apples I had dealt with. It showed in the places he took me. We went to places that provided a sense of peace and tranquility.
July 2017
By the time July came around, it was my turn to make a surprise visit. Even though I had just made a trip in March to see David, this trip was special because it was his birthday month and I had plans for us this time. With all the things David had done and all the special places he had already taken me to, I wanted to make his birthday special for him. The whole year I had been listening to his likes and interests. One of the things he mentioned in passing was a helicopter ride. So, I had to make that happen as a birthday surprise. I knew, because he had only mentioned it as a small topic in our conversation, he would never think I caught how much he really wanted to do it.
He absolutely loved his birthday surprise. He was like a kid in a candy shop. For us that’s what it is all about. Being able to share, true, genuine moments with each other where we feel free again. We had become a vacation for each other. The best part about it, was we were quickly becoming each other’s reality as well. I was showing David he doesn’t have to do all the work in this relationship. That I was just as capable and invested in him as he was in me. In other words, he wasn’t dealing with a self-centered woman.
Recap
We did a ton of other fun and interesting things on that trip, but when I got home, it was time to recap. I needed to think back over all the things that were important since this all began. I asked myself, “What made this more real than anything I had ever experienced?”
- The foundation of our relationship was in God.
- We had been friends for 8 years prior to any first attempt or move towards a relationship. Not saying that it takes this long but, that’s just how it played out for us.
- Being friends first allowed me to see who he truly was as a man and person.
- David found me again. After all of the time spent apart when we were friends, I didn’t have to go and find him for a relationship. He sought after me.
- We made sure to always communicate and create a safe environment for further communication no matter the topic.
- Both of us were in agreement with God’s word and were determined to remain pure in this relationship. So far, this had been easy and tough at the same time. But, when it’s something we truly want, we will make it happen.
- There were no red flags. You know how we see something but will let it go because we really like the person. I didn’t have any of that with David.
Now I am not saying we are perfect, because no one is. What I am saying is, those things I had experienced in the past were no longer issues. There were no faced down phones when I came around, or inappropriate text messages to other women. I didn’t have to deal with him acting suspicious or the whole, ‘let’s not tell anybody we are dating to avoid drama”, line. I’m just being transparent. May sound minute, but in the past, these were all red flags I faced that ultimately turned out to be deceit and betrayal. The thing was, I knew it. I always did. However, I didn’t always act on my instincts. There were sometimes I just didn’t want to start over with someone else after putting in so much time.
When I decided that I was truly surrendering to God’s will for my life and after He gave me much needed time to be single and get to know Him and myself; He brought David along as if he was always just waiting on the other side of the dessert. I was glad to break my cycle and I still had so much more to look forward to. It would only be 3 months before I saw David again in person. It was for my birthday and this time we were Cali bound!
